NSFW Sunday Desires Lesbian Friends With Pros | Autostraddle

[
highlighted picture via maurizio di iorio
]

Obviously it’s simply
“not too easy” for males and women to get “friends with advantages” or even to have “no strings affixed
.” This concept is a hot topic now, because of the nation’s excitement concerning “No Strings With Benefits,” the remake of the Natalie Portman/Ashton Kutcher initial from earlier on this year, this time featuring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.

Exactly what about lesbians?

Not so long ago I’d a habit of getting into these situations with “straight ladies” — the lack of strings was actually implicit inside the commitment because obviously a direct woman wasn’t seeking a connection with a female. Particularly when she currently had a boyfriend. All crisis, all of the gender, and nothing for the devotion! It really is magical/excruciating.

Although I caution against pursuing or
slipping in deep love with
or
confessing your fascination with a direct girl
and now have never ever done this my self, straight girls are great fun as friends-with-benefits so long as you will keep your emotions found in a safe small package. “In your box office,” as we say.

But
pals with advantages between two real-live mature lesbian ladies
or perhaps you understand, bisexual or elsewhere interested-in-ladies ladies? Many claim that it’s too hard because women have many thoughts, but it’s already been proven to happen. It’s possible. Sometimes two girls simply want to enjoy! (Similar to
Whitney Mixter
)

But, in an article which asks the question “why is there no female version of grindr?”,
WildCherry argues
:

“Typically homosexual men decide to try everyday sex like a duck to h2o. Straights keep their very own within the casual intercourse stakes but behind-the-scenes it is very typically males driving these experiences. When it’s kept to 2 females, things become much less feverish.”

At Examiner.com,
The Lesbian union blogger has some advice for pursuing pals with benefits
, like “while you are over the woman interest in one to be faithful or contact this lady on a regular basis, just stating “we said I didn’t wish everything major,” does not get you off of the hook.”

Ashley at Diffuse5.com
comes with ideas
from a lesbian viewpoint but moreover, Dara Nai at AfterEllen discovers an easy way to talk about intercourse on AfterEllen together breakdown of

Friends With Benefits

titled
We Want Friends With Benefits
:

”

Buddies with Advantages goes whenever Harry Met Sally one much better. In the place of inquiring whether both women and men is generally merely pals, it assumes they could nowadays. Practical question in 2011 is: Can friends have sexual intercourse rather than fall-in love, or worse, screw up the relationship? Really, sh-t howdy, lesbians have-been inquiring our selves that for decades.”

In Sep 2009,
The brand new York days published articles known as “exactly what do ladies wish”
about what transforms ladies on, focusing at first on a study of female desire done by recognized researcher Meredith Chivers. She performed experiments which involved viewing different sorts of pornography, and found that although males responded genitally in “group specific” means (straight men like right porno, an such like) that:

“It doesn’t matter what their self-proclaimed intimate direction, [women] revealed, on the whole, powerful and quick genital arousal if the display supplied males with guys, women with women and females with men.”

Additionally, when it came to discrepencies within subject matter’s reported arousal (that they penned about) and their actual arousal (which had been calculated by extravagant logical materials attached with various crucial parts of the body):

“…with the women, especially the direct females, mind and genitals seemed hardly to are part of the same person. The indication from the plethysmograph additionally the keypad just weren’t in a lot accord. During shots of lesbian coupling, heterosexual females reported significantly less excitement than their own vaginas shown; viewing gay men, they reported a tremendous amount much less; and seeing heterosexual sex, they reported a whole lot more. Among the list of lesbian volunteers, the two indication converged whenever women made an appearance from the display. Nevertheless when the flicks highlighted just males, the lesbians reported significantly less involvement as compared to plethysmograph recorded.”

The whole article is fascianting, actually, nevertheless vital component would be that this research could “move just how females regard their particular capacity to get turned on.” Or even perhaps not:

“…sometimes Chivers talked like the actual woodland was not visible after all, as if the complexities had been an indication a reduced amount of inherent intricacy than of social attempts to manage feminine eros, of cultural limitations having kept ladies crave dampened, distorted, inaccessible to understanding. “numerous countries have quite tight rules overseeing feminine sex,” she said. “if it sex is relatively passive, subsequently why a lot of regulations to manage it? Just why is it very frightening?” There is the implication, in her own terms, that she might never illuminate the woman topic because she would never even find it, your data she and her co-workers collect might-be deceptive, might express only the creations of society, and this the woman perceptions may be top away from underlying fact. There clearly was the intimation that, at its key, women’s sex is probably not passive at all. There is ability that the long reputation for anxiety could have tucked the type of females’s lust as well profoundly to unearth, to look at.”

Time while trying to find website links with this subject we wound up at the syllabus for a class known as
College or university Sex & Philosophy: Pals with Benefits
and in some way from that point wound up with this index of
Get Ask Alice
advice questions about LGBTQ problems and I think you would like that too. It is like we’re having a journey on the net collectively.

In summary, somebody else thinks
buddies with benefits is actually clinically difficult
, nevertheless from the thing I study of it, I think this some body is quite inaccurate.

CUTE TUMBLR ALARM:

Freckled

:
Dedicated to the love of freckled ladies
.

PRETTY PHOTOGRAPHY ALERT THROUGH CHD-WCK.COM:

CHD-WK!
: In Her Own Very Own Body

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