At Westwind Recovery®, we offer a life skills training program as part of our holistic approach to treatment. Any person who has struggled with a substance use disorder or addiction is vulnerable to relapse. True sobriety involves self-growth, change, https://ecosoberhouse.com/ and serenity. A sober person has unlearned negative patterns of thinking and behavior and has formed a new life without substances. Sometimes, a person doesn’t realize how much addiction has not only affected them but the people around them as well.
Drug addiction is one of those things that cause serious relationship problems and health issues whether it’s in the long or short run. A few ways to learn how to help a loved one with drug addiction includes setting firm boundaries and sticking to them. You have to outline what will happen if the person comes home intoxicated, as an example. You have to also avoid living in the fantasy world that the addict tries to create.
Most Important Advice for Someone Seeking to Love an Addict
It’s important that you don’t gloss over the problem or minimize it. You also have to make sure that you remove your own sense of fear about creating consequences for the addict. It’s natural to feel out of control when you’re in love with an addict or trying to learn to love an addict in the right ways.
If you decide to stage a family meeting or intervention, it’s important everyone involved comes from the same place of compassion and understanding. This is not an excuse for people to vent their grievances about the addict’s behavior or make them feel bullied or ashamed. The problem is the disease of addiction, not the person in its grip. This will likely be the first of many conversations you’ll need to have regarding your loved one’s drug use. It may take several conversations for them to even acknowledge they have a problem, the first step on the road to recovery.
Characteristics of a Loving Relationship
This is often hard, especially at the beginning, but it’s a lofty practice and well worth the discipline. The first is to understand that we will never be able to control anyone but ourselves – so we can stop trying so hard to do so. The only way we ‘control’ anyone else is if they allow us to do that – in which case, it isn’t really control. The only person any of us have any control over is sitting on our butt.
- For many people, drug addiction is enough to end a relationship.
- If your partner is addicted to drugs, you and their loved ones must deal with it.
- With all that in mind, read on to learn what exactly a reliance or fixation on love might entail, and what steps experts recommend for overcoming it.
I don’t consider it enabling to help the person into treatment—that’s not enabling. Enabling would be buying them a car when they complete treatment or, while they’re in a halfway house, paying all of their bills. “Tough love” has become a catchphrase in the recovery community. It can have various connotations but in loving an addict its broader sense is a way to answer the question of how to love someone with addiction while exercising healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries protects your personal health and well-being, is more likely to help your addicted loved one, and can help ensure that you’ll be satisfied with the relationship as well.
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Try to be open and honest with your loved one without being aggressive or confrontational. Finding a treatment program that works best for you and your family is important. Different treatment centers offer a variety of different services, and it is helpful to do research and consider your options. 12-step programs like the ones used in AA can help promote abstinence as well as help build healthy relationships between peers, friends, and family.
Letting go of the need to be their savior may involve a grieving process, and it may be a good idea to seek support. Instead, you may suggest that they seek professional help. It may be all too easy to push your own needs and well-being onto the back burner, perhaps because they feel less dramatic or pressing in comparison. But in doing so, you may be putting their needs ahead of your own.
Professional/Community Treatment Options
Comorbidity is the occurrence of two or more disorders or illnesses in the same person. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), the likelihood of a mental illness diagnosis doubles for individuals suffering from a substance use disorder. Your partner may be more willing to talk about their depression or anxiety with you or a professional than talk directly about their substance use.
Even when you don’t agree with the person, take the time to listen to what they have to say, without trying to argue or contradict them. The more your loved one feels heard, the more they’ll see you as supportive, someone they can confide in. It has been said that the least favorite word for an addict to hear is “No.” When addicts are not ready to change, they become master manipulators in order to keep the addiction going. Their fear of stopping is so great that they will do just about anything to keep from having to be honest with themselves. Some of these manipulations include lying, cheating, blaming, raging and guilt-tripping others, as well as becoming depressed or developing other kinds of emotional or physical illnesses. These kinds of actions on your part will not help your loved one in the long run.